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The (Unofficial) Penn Quarter Inauguration Survival Guide

Posted by Columbo
January 11, 2013

Inauguration day is right around the corner and we want our readers to be prepared. Sure you can get official information from the DC Presidential Inauguration website, but that’s geared towards tourists and outsiders; and besides, where’s the fun in an official guide? What do PQ residents need to consider besides street closures? Well, the following might just save your holiday:

Not For Sale: Binders Full of Women

;

  • Tip One – if your political party lost, make it a long weekend away from DC. Although judging by the fact that Obama brought in over 90% of the votes in DC (folks, third world dictators would be embarrassed by those kinds of numbers) there won’t be many of you leaving.
  • Tip Two – if your political party won, throw a viewing party. You’ll thank us when you’re not stuck in the purple tunnel of doom (yeah, yeah, it’s closed this year… artistic license).
  • Tip Three – get your guest list to your front desk concierge ahead of time (assuming you are listening to us about tip two), we recommend an open note to the concierge, something like “my friends will be those carrying booze.”
  • Tip Four – make a list and check it a dozen times. There won’t be any last minute trips to the store for the onion you forgot for your inaugural guacamole.
  • Tip Five – be a good neighbor and invite some of your building neighbors to your party. You never know, they might be able to supply that onion your forgot (see tip four).
  • Tip Six– plan to keep it indoors. The last thing you want is the Secret Service mistaking your rooftop yard-of-ale for a firearm.
  • Tip Seven – not a drinker? Then this is the tip for you! Take a drink every time President Obama mentions Penn Quarter in his inaugural address.

Related posts:

  1. Penn Quarter Neighborhood Association Meeting On 2013 Inauguration Preparations
  2. Inauguration 2009: Collectibles & Guides & Cell Towers, Oh My!
  3. Inauguration 2009 Photos: Best Of The Rest & Recap
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Comments
Comment by sb on January 11, 2013 @ 4:46 pm

keep a few flags on hand by the door…so you can step out and wave as POTUS drives thru PQ between balls…
they announce when hes leaving and where hes going..you can generally guess the route… :-)
cheers!
xoxo

Comment by Anonymous on January 12, 2013 @ 11:18 pm

You forget that something like 30% of DC residents are registered in other states including people like moi who have lived here for over a decade, plus most republicans I know who are registered in DC don’t bother as they see voting in DC as a waiste of time, do please don’t assume that republicans are as rare a breed in this town as would otherwise be suggested by the vote total.

Comment by Rob on January 16, 2013 @ 4:28 pm

@Anonymous: If you’ve lived here over a decade and you’re still registered somewhere else, you are probably committing voter fraud (unless you’re active-duty military, or one of the small handful of other exceptions to the rule that you have to be registered where you live).

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