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Run Silent, Run Beast

Posted by Columbo
August 12, 2009

This is as close as we were willing to get. He's in there somewhere.

When you take your dog for a walk there is a natural order to things.  While your dog may get dive bombed by a few nesting birds, for the most part the local wildlife will flee as your canine approaches.  Of this fleeing wildlife, the animal with the biggest yellow streak has always been the lowly squirrel.  From the largest mastiff to the smallest chihuahua, squirrels will abscond as if you were walking the hell hound Cerberus.

Something has gone very wrong on the 900 block on Pennsylvania Ave.  There is a squirrel roaming the front of the FBI building who not only isn’t afraid of dogs, this beast is downright aggressive against them (and anyone else who dares come near).  Add to that, the squirrel is also conniving!  He’ll lie on the pavement on his belly, limbs stretched out as if he’d fallen from a tree.  As hapless passersby stop to see if he’s ok, he leaps up and has them running for their lives.  If the FBI were to review their Pennsylvania Ave security tapes from Sunday they’d see Mrs Columbo running serpentine while trying to escape (we recommend they play Yakety Sax while watching the video).

Consider this your fair warning.  That squirrel is mad as hell, and he’s not going to take it anymore.

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Comments
Comment by Anonymous on August 12, 2009 @ 9:14 am

Hilarious. I imagine this is the same squirrel… A couple of summers ago, my dog barked at a squirrel in front of the Potbelly on Indiana Ave. Not only did the squirrel not run away, it charged my dog, stopping only a couple of feet short from us. As if that wasn’t enough, the squirrel followed us all the way to Au Bon Pain, squeaking and feinting the whole way, as if to make sure we knew the bounds of his territory and we were getting the hell out of it!

Comment by pqresident on August 12, 2009 @ 9:28 am

Run Silent, Run Deep…I think I have still that on Betamax somewhere in storage.

before you know it, the squirrels will be asking you to spare a dollar. great post!

Comment by MB on August 12, 2009 @ 10:09 am

The same crazy squirrel also lives in the triangle area on the opposite side of 9th street, in front of D’Aqua, next to the Navy Memorial. She very territorial. The other scary thing is that she leaps from tree to tree while people are passing by. She’s chased my Fritz many times. The only thing that works is picking him up and running away. It always looks like she’s about to jump and attack him. She’s nuts!

Comment by sb on August 12, 2009 @ 2:41 pm

oh thank goodness you posted this!!…i was too ashamed to admit that my dog and i had been forced to change our walking route by a “mean squirrel” ;-) …its bad enough to be all blond & walking a teeny dog…but getting chased around the block by squirrels …was downright embarrassing! xoxo

Comment by Anon on August 12, 2009 @ 3:25 pm

The snipers that I assume are on top of the FBI building need to take this neighborhood terrorist out!

Comment by Brandon Green on August 12, 2009 @ 4:51 pm

Great photo of one of DC’s uglier walks. It almost looks decent.

Comment by Wizzyliz on August 14, 2009 @ 9:36 pm

YIKES! Thanks for the warning! This squirrel sounds like the Dirty Harry (or Harriet) of PQ. I can only imagine that the little darling has had it with the Segway tours … I know I have!

Comment by Cheryl on August 15, 2009 @ 8:03 pm

It’s the reincarnation of j. edgar hoover

Comment by penntastic on August 22, 2009 @ 8:36 am

I saw him last week, doing his spread eagle act, luring the unsuspecting tourists into his trap. Had I known he might be about to pounce, I would have stayed and watched longer.

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