Whenever anyone mentions the possibility of the FBI leaving their Pennsylvania Avenue headquarters for bigger digs (and the Hoover building disappearing with them) we never let it get our hopes up. We’ve seen how slow bureaucracy moves and are well aware of the web of obstacles that exist.
However, against our better judgment the recent news of an FBI move has piqued our interest. Could it really happen? Will the FBI site be transformed from no man’s land into a bustling city block? Soon???
Just in case our Federal neighbors really make an exit out of PQ we wanted to present our top five things the FBI should do at their DC HQ before they leave (we should have spent more time working on a catchier title).
- Number 5…. Host a half marathon through the maze of hallways
- Number 4…. Earn money for the new HQ! Restart the famed tours as a going out of business sale (top dollar for anything in the rumored Hoover-Tolson library)
- Number 3…. The employees could have the greatest Laser Tag game EVER
- Number 2…. Invite all the former FBI Directors back for a James Bond themed karaoke night*
And the Number 1 thing the FBI should do a their PQ HQ before they leave?
- Host a New Years Eve Party to including shooting off stockpiled munitions at midnight (take that Times Square Ball)
* Ok so Bond is a British Secret Agent, but there are no fictional FBI agents famous enough (if there are any at all) to compete here; Heck Bond’s US comparable was Felix Leiter (CIA) and he loses a leg to a shark (skip to 3:30).